How I use a shop vac to keep my kitchen floors clean

The original title to this post was going to be “How I use a shop vac to keep my sanity when the little people who live with me throw everything I feed them on the floor.” Because that title seemed too long and slightly disturbing, I went with the generic title. But this really is exciting stuff–at least for the slightly Type A mom who might have just a touch of OCD. Just a touch.

Behold the breakfast table:

Booster Seat // Chairs

Clean floors, clean chairs, clean tabletop. It would be so nice if it actually looked like this all of the time.

Today was actually a pretty tame day on the floor front. I just vacuumed this morning. The kids had fish sticks and broccoli for lunch. I fed them that particular meal for lunch because I, like many others, know that fish sticks and broccoli, by virtue of their sticky nature, aren’t as easy to fling on the floor. I thought the floor would actually remain clean by dinnertime–cue the heavenly music. But then The Dot started saying, “ball, ball, ball, ball,” and she didn’t stop saying it until I caved and gave her what she really wanted: cheese balls.

The floor promptly looked like this:

Because she doesn’t actually eat the cheese balls anymore. She smashes them between her fingers and thinks it’s hilarious. This is her new thing. Cool.

Did I get mad and scream “noooooooooooo” in anticipation of having to lug out the big vacuum yet again to clean up this mess? Did I panic? Nope. That’s because I have implemented my best idea ever.

It’s hiding behind this door in my kitchen island:

Look closelier:

Shop Vac (similar)

A shop vac. This inexpensive tool has saved me. It doesn’t matter if the mess is wet or dry or large or small. This guy can handle it. It’s always plugged in and ready to go. And it’s a breeze to vacuum up cheerios, which in my experience is hard to do with a basic vacuum. “Cheerio speed” is a thing.

I decided to get this compact 3.5 gallon shop vac that comes with an eighteen foot hose and a lot of accessories. (NOTE: My exact vacuum appears to be out of stock, but this one is similar) The hose was a big selling point for me because I can shop vac my entire kitchen without having to move the actual shop vac itself. It’s basically like the central vacuum systems from the 90’s, but without the financial commitment.

The main downside to the shop vac is that it is slightly louder than my regular vacuum. However, I can damper the noise a little bit by closing the cabinet door to allow just enough room for the hose to come out, and it’s not too bad. You also have to have space for a shop vac, but after reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, this wasn’t a problem for me.

Before the shop vac idea came to me, I can’t tell you how many time I Googled, “how do I stop my child from throwing food on the ground.” There are some excellent tips out there for reducing the mess, but there is no solution for stopping the mess. At least not one that works in my house. And I do realize that I could just get a dust buster or a dog, but (1) I often end up with large and wet chunks of food on the floor, and I’m pretty sure a dust buster can’t handle that, and (2) with two little ones who demand constant attention, it would probably be a bad idea to add another non-potty-trained member to the family.

In essence, the shop vac (similar in-stock version) lets me appreciate the wild and untamable nature of my children by providing an efficient way to clean up what I can only describe as the carthage that results from the thirty-minute circus show that ordinary people call breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It keeps me sane. My. Best. Idea. Ever.